Todos Adentro

Its how you say "all-in" in Spanish. A really hot Argentinian girl at my hostel taught me that. Recently I took off for Peru with a few high school friends, actually it was the dudes from my lunch table. Ha pretty funny after 8 years we still keep in touch. I was hesitant to leave for South America at first. Its odd that sometimes I don't want to leave my poker screen and at other times I regret spending so much time on the virtual felt. My group traveled to Cusco, Lima, and Machu Picchu, and dear God it was a freakin' blast. I have not had that much fun in months. Aside from going to foreign places and seeing cool sites, meeting new people is what really made my experience priceless. Back to the hot Argentinian. Some friends from Boston I met on the trip, Bassum and Merret, were talking to me about this girl I had my eye on. Merret (Bassum's wife) got along well with this girl and told me that she would introduce me. I said "No please don't its ok." She replied that I needed to be more aggressive, and Merret was right. Its a bit annoying because I have heard this from a few people before in my life. One friend I had a falling out with a long time ago told me "you have no balls." His name was Jack Reed and he was right. Although this guy was all balls and probably not enough brains, even though they were there if he ever cared to use them. Jack's comment was not in reference to women, and Merret's was, but they hold true to me for several aspects of my life.

Poker, if utilized correctly, just opens doors. The game provides you with so much opportunity. The problem is you do not realize this unless you put on some pants and leave the computer every so often to experience new things. I am not sure that I'll ever speak to Bassum and Merret again, which is unfortunate. I enjoyed their company a lot, and it was refreshing to see a married couple with a seemingly healthy relationship. The majority of relationships just appear so fucked up to me. Bassum really cracked me up, and the guy loved poker, so even better. If I don't get to see them again, my memories and that drunken conversation between Merret and I will stick with me for a while. So after watching the Argentinian go home with an uglier and less charismatic guy from the UK, I found myself in a cab with our hostel owner Pedro on the way to a casino, haha what a phenomenal end to the trip.

I don't take hold of the reigns enough in my life. Other people influence me too much. In the last two years, the only thing I did for myself was play poker, and I'm very happy I stuck with it. When meeting different kids in hostels throughout Peru, it hit me how oblivious I was to the rest of the world and my own blessings. I also realized how ignorant some others can be as well. In America we live to work, the South Americans work to live. They live in the moment, enjoy their young adult years much more, but live a very poor end to their lives. A lot of them have to move in with their sons and daughters. Americans don't know what a moment is, they're too busy too experience one. And here I am caught in the middle just being pushed and pulled by both sides without making any decisions. This might even be worse than one of the two extremes, ending up in the middle due to external influences. In poker I always stress balance, doing a little bit of everything so that I cannot be exploited. If only the South Americans could work a bit harder now to secure a better future, and at the same time the Americans could sit down for one second and enjoy a moment instead of trampling workers to death trying to get a new Zune during the season of joy. How lucky am I and some of my friends to have a job we enjoy, that makes us a ton of money, allows for free time, and we never get fired during economic recessions. Not only can I join a group stampede to get the coolest new thing in Walmart, but I also have the ability to enjoy life's one true luxury, time.

The Peru trip was just what I needed. Before I left I had a series of panic attacks due to stress from my environment. Traveling is always cathartic, and I learn a ton about myself and other cultures. I landed in Lima, then went to Cusco, and finally hiked Machu Picchu. You start walking along the 500 year old Incan trail and your left with nothing but a backpack, your own thoughts, and 9 miles to go. I need to be more aggressive about things in my life, after all it is my own, and I should not have to justify anything to anyone but myself. I should work hard at what I enjoy and also reward myself after some success. Balance is key. If I want something, I need to go and get it, nothing worthwhile is ever thrown in my lap. I just gotta put my head down and plow past the obstacles. Most importantly though, chose your my own path, not ones that others have carved out. If you stick with something long enough, one day you look up and are amazed at what you see and how far you've gone.

The clouds parted sometime in the afternoon, rain subsided, and there it was, an ancient city carved into a mountain top. Breath taking and surreal are understatements. Your in the middle of nowhere, hah but you can still get a text message, god bless the 21st century. Waterfalls adorn the mountains along with Ican ruins, vegetation, and eager souls making their way up to this wonderful ancient society. The Urubamba River wraps around the base of all the mountains like a boa constrictor, and gives life to the lush valleys used for farming. You stand in your damp clothes on your rubbery legs with your high school lunch table looking out at all this. I couldn't give a shit about being anywhere else in this moment. Back home we have skyscrapers. I doubt these natives have seen a building over 6 stories. I also doubt that most New Yorkers have ever seen Machu Picchu commanding respect from the surrounding mountain tops with clouds retreating in the distance and flocks of parrots flying five feet overhead, while Llamas graze as the sun shines down intensely enough to peel your skin . I'd say the New Yorkers are the ones missing out. Everything is so clean and clear, the sights, the air, and your mind as well.


In 7 days from now, I leave for Raleigh/ Chapel Hill to find a new home, my own home, for the first time ever. I'm sitting here in my bed bitter to be so far from Peru, yet pleased that my friends asked me to go, and that I forced myself to leave my new leather chair and Shiatsu massager. If only I could have sat in that while staring out over Incan civilization hah. The trip to North Carolina is a start to taking hold of the reigns and steering my course as I see fit. I am not sure I will return to Peru, I loved it, but it taught me how much else there is to see. Every year from now on I would like to see another natural wonder, meet some more people, and constantly gain perspective from different cultures. I won't ever forget Bassum, Merret, or even Andy from Chile who had me laughing nonstop. I get random emails from people who have met Andy asking if I can take them on bike tours throughout Santiago Chile because they heard I'm an expert and in town for a few days. Hah that kid cracks me up. Lastly, Ill never forget the mental clarity I received from Machu Picchu and the day I decided to start out on my own headed toward North Carolina.


Haha being that this is my poker blog, a brief update: roughly +60k in last 4 months. This is ok but I kind of expected more from playing 5 10 full time. I had a 22k downswing taking shots at 5k and 2k games heads up. I will not be doing this again as heads up is not my strongest game. After getting back from Peru I was a bit rusty and therefore stepped down to the 400 and 600 nl games. I will be back at 1k when I am ready. I am so excited for my NC trip and the future in general.