Plan B

My shots at 2k and 5k games have been a disappointment. Sometimes I played mediocre, other times I played my heart out and the cards did not fall my way. This is the nature of what I do. After talking some more to my poker buddy, I've decided to revert back to a more conservative money management approach. I am going to grind the 400-1k games and stop with the shots at higher levels for now. This month I am down 20-25k in shots at higher games, but still up nearly 20k anyway. Dear god what a blazing hot month I had at 5 10 though, about 45k in profit if you don't consider the losses. This is nothing to be mad or ashamed about. I have mentioned the fact that I am down 25k in shots to my friend a few times and he just keeps trying to bang into my head that it does not matter, and it really doesn't he is right. If shit does not go your way you just rinse and repeat that is all there is to it. If your skills are such that you deserve to play at high stakes and nosebleeds, then eventually you will be up there. Poker is one of the few, truly fair things in life. Everyone gets what they deserve in the end of this game.

When I run hot I start trying a lot of new things. It is odd because I spew money in spots where I would not normally, but I am pretty sure this happens to everyone. Also a huge consideration that has lead me to being more conservative with my money again is the fact that taxes are coming up. I will owe in the neighborhood of 30kish, which is brutal. At the same time that says quite a bit about the year I have had, so nothing to be annoyed about really. I am going to Austin Texas next week to look for apartments. Ideally I would like to have 100k post taxes to live off and play with. I have about 1k in loans, insurance, and car payments per month. Factor in rent (900-1.5k) and spending money which should be around 650 a month for food and some alcohol I need to be able to drop around 3.5k a month just to live. This budget seems pretty accurate to me. I am also considering buying out the rest of my car soon and getting myself a nicer ride. My acura rsx is a great car and sporty, I have really enjoyed it, but I have my eye on the M3 now. That is a beautiful car. We'll have to see how my year ends up, and what I feel comfortable spending.

Lastly, a friend's girlfriend said to me last night "You're living a charmed life huh." I do not know how I feel about this statement, but it has stuck in my mind. People see that I go to Peru, Raleigh, and Austin whenever I want to. On the outside, the stuff I have done or gotten through poker seems somewhat glamorous. At the same time people do not know the stress of swinging thousands of dollars regularly or just being really hard on yourself. A losing day, or one where I play very poorly, really eats at me. The things I have accomplished through poker can really all be attributed to attitude. I have changed a lot in the last year and a half. I spoke with an old teacher recently and told her about the swings and losing months. She seemed to think I would not be able to handle the lifestyle, but I have so far and been quite successful too. This professor knew me as a volatile person, and someone who did not stick with things. I have matured a lot in the last 16 months. On any given day I could get very angry and sit in a game for all the money I have or I could just lose motivation and not play anymore. I believe my attitude has improved immensely and that I have the potential to succeed at various different business ventures. This professor said to me what if you lose motivation and just stop playing. I countered with what if I run my own restaurant and don't show up to work due to personal problems. Its the same premise really. So are my poker friends and I living charmed lives? Yes, but not to the extent that it may seem. We are lucky to enjoy our jobs most of the time, and to have succeeded at something we put so much effort into. But its not that everything we have today just fell into our laps, there was a ton of blood, sweat, and tears involved. Our poker journeys are not even close to over yet and the road ahead just keeps getting tougher, but I think we will be alright.

+8k in my session yesterday-ha pretty happy I decided to stick to 5 10
I am also going to do live session sweats with my friend from Brazil on a weekly basis, this should help a lot